Living Life...

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Thursday, January 1, 2015

Choosing Forgiveness – Chapter 8 – Returning a Blessing

I am going through a book called “Choosing Forgiveness-Your Journey to Freedom” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  It is an area in my life that I am struggling with… and this book has been very convicting.  I am going to share only some of the quotes that have impacted my life as I study this book and my own heart.  I have not been able to completely forgive those who have hurt me… I am a work in progress but it is my desire to forgive completely.  I don’t want to go into the details of the pain but I would love prayer as I walk through this journey towards freedom.  The quotes in red come from the book… the rest are my own personal thoughts.


I've talked to people who believe they've truly forgiven their offender—they've pressed the delete key—but still feel stuck emotionally.  When they think of that person, they still feel tied up in knots.  They've not been able to move forward with any kind of peace or freedom.  Something’s still holding them back.  Forgiveness requires that we go “above and beyond” just releasing our offender… that we extend the grace of God and build bridges of love by returning blessing for curse, good for evil. 

***Lord, give me wisdom in knowing how and when to do this…

God often chooses to leave behind some of the painful memories, the lingering feelings and effects of past hurts, so we can be merciful and compassionate toward those who are going through similar ordeals… but I do not believe for a minute that you should have to live the rest of your life under the weight and burden of all these unresolved emotions… and the reason many of us are still there, the reason we haven’t yet moved on to more complete healing in these areas… is because we've stopped short of actually blessing those who have wronged us. 

** I do pray that somehow God can use what we experienced to bless others who are going through similar experiences.  But I also desire to move past the unresolved feelings and find complete healing in God.

Not only do we not have to be victims of the evil others inflict on us.  We can actually overcome evil—with good!   I want you to once again for a moment go through the mental exercise of identifying your offenders, those who have caused you pain and loss, who have given you the hardest time in trying to let go and forgive… and as you think of them, I want you to back away far enough from the achy feelings that may even still resonate within you… and I want you to see that person as someone in need.  Do you want to fully experience the freedom of forgiveness?  Ask God to show you the real need in your offender’s life.  Then ask Him how He might want to use you to meet that need.

** Once again I am at a loss… it is so much easier to forgive a stranger who has offended me… to be able to move past and bless them… it is so much harder when it is someone you love and the hurt goes so much deeper. 

“Forgive” him, “comfort him” and “reaffirm your love for him” (2 Cor. 2:7-8).  Does that sound too hard in your case?  It should.  It is much too hard.  If we were ever in need of the Holy Spirit to enable us to obey His Word this is it.  People who are trying to survive life without the aid of God’s grace and salvation don’t have a prayer of doing what these verses require. 

*** Lord, I need you… I need you to help me to help me to forgive, comfort and love those who have hurt me.  I know that I cannot do it on my own.  Please guide me and direct me.  Give me wisdom in knowing what you are asking of me.

Once you've come to the point of fully forgiving them, of releasing them, of pushing that delete button, ask God to show you how you can invest back into the life of your offender, the very one who sinned against you.  See what happens, if not in him or her, then in you.  And see where God directs you to go next, until you actually begin finding joy—His joy—in blessing someone who’s treated you so badly.  In so doing, you will overcome evil with good.

*** This is my hope… that I will find God’s joy by overcoming evil with good..!

No matter who it is or what he’s done, you can at least do this: you can pray for him.  You may sigh and say, “I don’t think I can pray for God’s blessing on that man or that woman… I don’t even want God to bless them!” But I assure you, as you begin to do it anyway out of simple obedience to the Word of God, you’ll discover what I've found to be true in my own life: you can’t long hate someone you’re praying for, someone you’re asking God to bless and restore to a right relationship with Him. 

** This is the one area of the chapter I have been partially successful in… I have been praying for those who have hurt me and will continue to do so. 

I can’t promise you that blessing your offender will result in a “storybook ending” but I can promise this much: if you choose not to bless in return, you are almost certainly assured of never seeing the reconciliation your heart longs for.


**It is hard to know that no matter what I do there may never be reconciliation… it is beyond my control… but it probably won’t ever happen if I don’t take the first steps.   

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