Living Life...

Living Life...

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Choosing Forgiveness – Chapter 1 – Walking Wounded

I am going through a booking called “Choosing Forgiveness-Your Journey to Freedom” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  It is an area in my life that I am struggling with… and this book has been very convicting.  I am going to share only some of the quotes that have impacted my life as I study this book and my own heart.  I have not been able to completely forgive those who have hurt me… I am a work in progress but it is my desire to forgive completely.  I don’t want to go into the details of the pain but I would love prayer as I walk through this journey towards freedom. 

“Many hearts are still wounded, still bleeding, still suffering, still hearing the words, still seeing the offenses, still having a hard time getting over what happened…  Some hearts have been anesthetized; they have become indifferent or detached, perhaps putting up walls to keep from getting heart again… We can’t talk about forgiveness without acknowledging the reality of pain.” 

** I don’t know how many times I have replayed some of the scenes over and over again in my head… heard the words… questioned what we could have done differently if anything… tried to put up walls in hope of keeping the pain out… it doesn't work.  I have come to realize that I have to acknowledge the pain and how much it hurt… but at the same time I cannot set up camp there if I ever want to be free from it.  It is time to move on and find healing…

“Everyone will get hurt… pain is unavoidable in this fallen world.  You WILL be hurt, wronged, and offended by others… The outcome of our lives is not determined by what happens to us but by how we respond to what happens to us.” 

**I am not alone… just as others have offended me I know I have offended others and for that I am sorry.  I know that some of what I am experiencing now is a result of some of my actions towards others… does it make it any easier?  No… it still hurts.  But I cannot live in the past… I cannot let others determine how I will live today.  I have learned a lot in these past couple years and I know that I will continue to learn a lot in the future. 

“There are essentially two ways of responding to life’s hurts and unfair experiences. The first, natural response is to become a debt collector.  We set out to make the offender pay for what he has done.  Being a “debt collector” does more than keep our offenders in debtor’s prison; it puts us in prison.  Why should we be in “jail” for a crime someone else had committed?  As an alternative to being debt collectors—the pathway to resentment and retaliation—God calls us to pure, powerful choice of forgiveness—and to pursue, wherever possible, the pathway of restoration and reconciliation.” 

** How often have I become a debt-collector?  How often have I put myself in prison trying to collect those debts from others?  I have to choose to leave this prison behind… but the only way to do so is to accept the gift of freedom that Jesus gave me when he died on the cross to forgive my sins and offer that same forgiveness to others.  I honestly don’t know if there will be restoration and reconciliation… and if so how long it will take to have it… but I do know that I can offer forgiveness and free myself from this prison. 

“You can probably think of an event in your own life when things got heated, the pot began to boil over, and the next thing you knew… the damage had been done.  There was no going back.  The things that were said, the things that occurred—they forever changed your life.” 

*** My life has definitely changed… there is no going back… I don’t even want to go back to the way things were… but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and I don’t miss some aspects of how it used to be.  I do have regrets… and questions that will probably never be answered…

“Not forgiving is like taking poison and hoping someone else will die… the very weapon we use to inflict pain on our offender becomes a sword turned inward on ourselves, doing far more damage to us—and to those who love us—than those who have hurt us.”   


** I know that I have fallen into the trap of swallowing the poison and hoping it affected someone else… I even knew that I was the one it was affecting and yet still I still do it… Lord, remove the poison from the equation… I need you to bring about healing in a way that only you can do.  I need you..!

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