Things were going really well in the Month of November… crazy at times, yes… insanely busy, yes, but still good. The study on forgiveness has been very convicting and I just started going through it with my paras when BAM… I am smacked in the face with a painful situation.
Out of respect for the other person, I
don’t want to give too many details but imagine praying for reconciliation with
someone for years and then receiving a message that they still hate you with a passion. I was devastated… I know that God is in
control of all situations, but I also know that He does not desire for
relationships to be broken… the devil has wreaked such havoc… he is celebrating
over the brokenness. My heart felt like it
was shattered to pieces and stomped on…
I won’t lie… it took me awhile to climb
back out of the pit… to give my broken heart over to God and say, “I need you to
mend it.” I spent even more time in God’s
Word and reading over the words in Choosing Forgiveness… literally crying out
to God… day and night… I would find myself trying to hold in the tears.
Matthew and I even took a drive to our
favorite spot on Snoqualmie pass to try to clear our heads. We got some beautiful pictures at Alpental… I
even took the token 2020 mask selfie as a reminder of the year’s
craziness. We then went home so I could watch the Husky game... another good way to distract myself from the pain.
During this time, I even wrote a
poem. It has been years since I have
written one… so I am a bit rusty… but here it is.
The Blame Game
Kristin Mazdzer
11/22/2020
It is so easy to play the blame game
I know I’ve played it many times
My mouth full of accusations
Blinded by my own sins
I can see all they did wrong
Quick to point it out to them
Not willing to look at my own life
Maybe I’m the cause of the strife
Lord, forgive me for the role I played
For casting all the blame upon the other
Not willing to take a look within
And recognize my own sin
Blaming other for the pain
Holding all the anger within
The root of bitterness continues to grow
Hiding the pain so it doesn’t show
I’ve also been on the other side
Of this thing I call the blame game
Listening to all the accusations
As a piece of me dies within
Wondering if they could see my heart
Maybe they would change their mind
Praying for the truth to be revealed
So, our lives can finally be healed
I know that Satan is rejoicing
When we play the blame game
He’s the father of accusations
And wants us blinded to our sins
Even when we’ve been forgiven
He reminds us of all our sins
And fills our minds up with lies
So, we’ll take our eyes off the prize
Lord, forgive me for the playing the game
For being the one to accuse another
And allowing other to blame me
Please come and set me free
I want to live my life for you
Free from the burden of my sins
So, I can be an example for all to see
Resisting the devil, so he’ll flee.
1 comment:
I really like this. It's so hard to forgive when you still experience the pain. Your poem is a good reminder of where our focus should be.
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