Reflections from my quiet time… and the past year..!

Today I read a chapter in the Bible that sums up what I am feeling

Psalm 40 -

¹I waited for the Lord;

He inclined to me and heard my cry.

²He drew me up from the pit of destruction,

out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock,

making my steps secure.

³He put a new song in my mouth,

a song of praise to our God. 

Many will see and fear,

and put their trust in the Lord.

I feel as if God has reached into the pit of destruction and lifted me up.  I was struggling, I was discouraged, I was depressed, I was focused on the trials… but God has lifted me from the pit… he has set my feet upon the rock.  He has put joy in my heart again.  Life may not be perfect but I have a new outlook on life. 

⁴Blessed is the man who makes

the Lord his trust,

who does not turn to the proud,

to those who go astray after a lie!

⁵You have multiplied, O L_ORD my God,

your wondrous deeds and  your thoughts toward us;

none can compare with you!

I will proclaim and tell of them,

yet they are more than can be told.

God is asking me to trust Him… even in the midst of times that I would normally freak out.  Many people don’t know that a couple weeks ago a lump grew on my shoulder.  It came instantly and caused extreme pain going down my arms and up my neck.  It developed in a matter of minutes.  When I went into urgent care they thought it might be a muscle spasm and told me to just take my muscle relaxers on a regular basis… which I did. Although, the lump shrunk the first week it was still causing me discomfort… so I went back to see my doctor (who was out of town the first week).  She told me she thinks I have something that is called lipoma (a fatty benign tumor).  She wanted me to wait one more week to see if it would shrink down anymore… if not I was going to have to have it biopsied… of course after telling me this she told me not to worry about it... she doesn’t believe it is cancerous but wants to rule it out since lipoma doesn’t usually grow that fast.  Unfortunately, it has not shrunk noticeably and is still bothering me.  In the past, hearing the “C” word would have me on a downward spiral… thinking of the “What ifs” in life… but after a couple days of being worried I have given it over to God.  There is still a very big chance that it is benign as my doctor believes and even if it is not I am going to trust that God will walk us through whatever comes our way.  That being said, I still have to contact my doctor and see what the next step is… but regardless God is good and I want to proclaim Him in everything. 

⁶In sacrifice and offering you have not delighted,

but you have given me an open ear.

Burnt offering and sin offering

you have not required.

⁷Then I said, “Behold, I have come;

in the scroll of the book it is written of me:

⁸I delight to do your will, O my God;

your law is within my heart.”

God does listen to us when we cry out to Him… and He knows how much I have been crying out.  He did not leave me in the pit but has a plan for my life.  I do delight in doing His will.  I love serving Him. I love serving the youth and discipling them.  I love watching them grow.  And as the following verses say I love proclaiming Him…

⁹I have told the glad news of deliverance

in the great congregation;

behold, I have not restrained my lips,

as you know, O L_ORD.

¹⁰I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;

I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;

I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness

from the great congregation.  

God is at work in my life… I am proclaiming His work not only among the youth but in boldness I am sharing about my faith with my co-workers.  I love it when they ask me questions or when I get the opportunity to share what God is doing in me. 

¹¹As for you, O L_ORD, you will not restrain

your mercy from me;

your steadfast love and your faithfulness will

ever preserve me!

¹²For evils have encompassed me

beyond number;

my iniquities have overtaken me,

and I cannot see;

they are more than the hairs of my head;

my heart fails me.

¹³Be pleased, O L_ORD, to deliver me!

O L_ORD, make haste to help me!

¹⁴Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether

who seek to snatch away my life;

let those be turned back and brought to dishonor

who delight in my hurt!

¹⁵Let those be appalled because of their shame

who say to me, “Aha, Aha!”

Wow… what a passage..!  Yes, our lives have been filled with many trials these past couple years.  We have been surrounded by evil… some because of our own sins… but also from those who have tried to beat us down and discourage us.  Lord, I confess that I am far from perfect.  Please don’t let me be like those who are seeking my hurt. I don’t wish pain upon anyone.  May your mercy upon our lives be new every morning..! 

¹⁶But may all who seek you

rejoice and be glad in you;

may those who love your salvation

say continually, “Great is the L_ORD!”

¹⁷As for me, I am poor and needy,

but the Lord takes thought for me.

You are my help and my deliverer;

do not delay, O my God!

God is my deliverer.  He is my hope.  He is my joy.  I choose to rejoice in Him.  I choose to focus on the blessings and proclaim His name..!  I pray for those who are running from Him and His ways… may they be drawn into God’s presence and feel the joy that I do.  Great is the Lord… and worthy to be praised..!