February 2026 – Surgery…So Many Memories…!

Matthew had surgery on his stump today and returning to St Anthonys in Gig Harbor brought along a slew of memories for me. We have had so many key moments at this hospital… moments that have changed our lives. This hospital and the doctors here have blessed our lives tremendously but that doesn’t mean it has always been any easy road.

For those who have walked the last 15 years with us, you may know many of these stories, for those who have become friends more recently, some of the stories may be new to you. Regardless, when big moments happen, I process through writing… so here is my attempt at processing what took place today.

My first experience with St Anthonys was just before Matthew and I got married. He had already been injured on the job and was dealing with the pain in his arm but back then he was also dealing with knee pain. Every step of the way was a battle, not only with LNI but also his company. They claimed that he was making it up and causing the injuries himself. So, once he finally got permission to do exploratory surgery on his knee they went in and realized that his ACL was shredded. Weeks before the wedding, they did surgery to repair his knee. This was my time accompany Matthew through an operation… as his fiancé waiting for him to come out of surgery.

Engagement shots with his knee brace... 

It did not take long for St Anthonys to become a location that we spent a lot of time at. After we returned from our honeymoon, Matthew started getting infections in his left arm. This was a natural progression of the injury he had on the job.

For those of you who don’t know, Matthew’s arm was crushed at work. He was a truck driver at the time, and the crush didn’t break his arm but caused a nerve injury some call RSD others call CRPS. There was a disconnect and the body was sending signals to the brain that something was wrong with the arm, which in return the brain tried to repair the injury… the result… swelling in the arm, extreme pain, eventually it led to atrophy in the hand/arm, and two-years later the infections started.

Glimpses of what his arm/hand looked like with CRPS...

a breeding ground for infections!

So back to returning from our Honeymoon… I think we were home a day or so before Matthew ended up in the ER due to extreme pain and they admitted him into the hospital with an infection. At this point, the only places I knew how to get to in the area were our house (I had moved in with him after we got married and returned) and the hospital. I didn’t even know how to get to a grocery store in the area.

So began multiple stays in the hospital due to infections in his arm. He would be there for 1-2 weeks at a time. Sometimes I would stay the night with him at the hospital, other times, I would be home with Shane and go to the hospital while Shane was at school. This because the norm for our first year of marriage.

Pictures from Matthew's stays at St Anthonys 

our first year of marriage... 

During one of the follow up appointments, I can still picture Dr Bear sitting on the counter yelling at LNI. They were denying paying for Matthew to get an MRI of his arm to see the extent of the infection… cause remember they fought us every step of the way and obviously, Matthew must have been causing the infections himself. When Dr Bear didn’t get anywhere with LNI he had Matthew go back into the ER and got his MRI that way.

St Anthonys was like a second home to us. In fact, we owed them so much money we could have purchased a home with what we were in debt to them… since LNI was refusing to pay any of the bills. We spent 7 years telling the debt collectors that LNI was responsible and we were not going to be paying the bills.

I got back into walking while Matthew was in the hospital. I needed something to do to relieve the stress. I would walk lap after lap after lap. I don’t know how many miles I got in. The campus itself was absolutely beautiful. I got to know the nursing staff by name and even learned the various codes… and when I needed to get back to the room quickly.

I remember Matthew going home from the hospital with a picc line and IV antibiotics. They were supposed to send a nurse to the house to teach me how to administer the medication. The antibiotics arrived but the nurse never showed up. Eventually, I looked at Matthew and told him that he was going to have to walk me through it. I had watched the procedure enough and with his medical background, I knew that we could do it.

The infections were so bad that although Matthew was released from the hospital before our 1-year anniversary, he was completely out of it. He didn’t even want to go out for coffee. He was only home for a couple of days before I brought him straight back to the ER where he was admitted once again. The infection was still rampant. In fact, it was in different compartments of his hand. We did end up celebrating our anniversary about six months later, thanks to a friend who donated us a couple nights at a hotel.

Near our Anniversary...

Hand would not heal back up...

I remember the day Dr Bear told Matthew that they were at the point that amputation was the only option. He had consulted with the infectious disease specialist and eventually Matthew’s body would become resistant to antibiotics. His hand was not healing even after months of antibiotics. Matthew was still out of it from the surgery and did not react very well to the news. I chose not to tell him but waited until the follow up appointment and had the doctor tell him again. I didn’t want to be the one to give him the devastating news.

Of course, LNI was refusing to allow the amputation, so we contacted my insurance company and asked if they cover it. Their response was if a doctor said he needed an amputation, then it would be covered. So, it was scheduled and we continued to process the news.

I remember the day of surgery… the waiting room at St Anthonys was filled with friends and family waiting for Matthew to come out of surgery. A lot of my family came over for the day to support me. This was the first time I had so much support and it was so much appreciated. Matthew was in good spirits when he woke up from the surgery. Thankfully, the surgery was a success and Dr Bear was even able to save his tatoo… the nurses thought he got it because of the amputation since it said “Taken” but it was in honor of his son Shane and his love for him.

They laughed over the tatoo... 

They laughed even harder when Matthew asked if they would bronze his arm and give it back to him... They asked why and his response was, "So when my wife asks for a hand around the house, I can toss it to her..." Without missing a beat I responded, "That way I can take it and beat him with it and the only fingerprints will be his own."  Sometimes humor is the only thing that got us through the hard times. 

Grateful for all the support while I waited... 

Matthew was happy to see all the friends and family 

after the surgery was over too... 

Even after we moved back over to Maple Valley, we still ended up going back to St Anthonys. The first time was a few years later when Matthew needed to have the first surgery for the neuromas in his arm.

We went again in 2020, for his second neuroma surgery. This one was a bit somber as it was in the middle of Covid. The hospital was empty and a bit eerie. They were not allowing guests into the hotel or waiting room unless the patient needed a caregiver. They allowed me to wait for Matthew, but I had to wear a mask the entire time, and I was the ONLY one in the waiting room.

It was crazy being alone in the waiting room...

the Hospital was soooo empty in 2020!

Now six years later, we finally got approval to do another surgery for his neuromas again. This time was not like the others. It took a while for us to find a doctor who would do the surgery. Dr Bear has retired and no one wanted to work on someone else’s previous work…. Though it could also be that no one else wanted to deal with LNI (we don’t either to be honest). Finally, we were able to connect with the doctor that replaced Dr. Bear and not only was he willing to do the surgery… he knew an advanced one that had better results. So, we submitted the request to LNI and waited for approval.

We arrived at St Anthonys at 5:15 in the morning for check-in. Cooper came along with us, which was nice to have company and someone to watch things when I needed to use the restroom or go buy food. It took a couple hours to get Matthew all checked in. During the check-in process, they were very adamant that Matthew released his DNR during the surgery and PACU portion of his stay. This was the first time the hospital had made such a big deal about it, and I thought it was a little odd. Matthew of course was willing to do so because he wanted the surgery because of the intense pain he had been dealing with. Matthew had to tell the doctors and nurses that he was willing to release the DNR before they were ready to take him back.

I kissed him goodbye and he headed off to the operating room while Cooper and I went off to the waiting room. The surgery was expected to last a couple hours… and it was four hours later that the doctor came out to let me know that the surgery was successful. Matthew had four different neuromas that he had to operate on. A couple of them were the biggest he had ever seen in his life and explained all the pain that Matthew had been in. He showed me some of the pictures… he was very impressed with the size.

Netflix while I worked... and waited!

Cooper napped a lot while we waited...

One of my walks... while waiting...

thinking of the old days!

We then began the long wait to see Matthew… after a few hours I started to get a bit nervous, but I didn’t want to let on to Cooper that I was… so I did what I do when I am nervous… I stayed busy. I worked on IEPs, I wrote blog posts, I went through emails, I watched Netflix, I took walks, got food, and so on. After five hours, the nurse finally came out and said we could come back and see him.

What was supposed to be a few hour surgery...

ended up taking us almost 12 hours at the hospital...!

The doctor came back through to check in on him and showed us the pictures again and shared all that he had done. He let us know that everything went smoothly. While we were back with him, I think she let it slip that they had to use Narcan on Matthew and that is why everything took so long. Matthew was in extra pain because they didn’t want to give him more pain meds due to having to give him Narcan. The surgeon allowed him to get a dosage on the pain meds that he prescribed so that they could get the pain under control and allow him to be discharged.

We finally got Matthew dressed up and I went to get the truck to pick him up. We then started our drive home… so I could get him settled in at home where he would be able to recover from the surgery. It wasn’t until later that it hit me that Matthew could have died today. Had he not released the DNR, he would not have made it… the fact that they were so adamant about it was God’s way of protecting him. God still has a purpose for him. He is now home in bed recovering, in pain, Yes!  We are being extra cautious for the time being, so he doesn’t have another relapse, but we are both very grateful that he is home tonight.

So, as you can see, I have a love-hate relationship with St Anthonys. I love the care Matthew gets every time he is there. I love how the staff fight on his behalf. I love that they have saved his life numerous times… but there are still a lot of hard times that have happened there… a lot of times of fear and anxiety… a lot of times I feared Matthew would not make it out of that hospital. To God be the Glory for allowing him to live another day!