Chapter 3 – The Enemy of Holiness

 

Holiness:  The Heart God Purifies

By Nancy Leigh DeMoss

 

Quotes & Summary in Black – My thoughts in Red

 

Chapter 3 – The Enemy of Holiness

A healthy fear and respect keeps most people from getting cozy with wild beasts.  So what makes us think we can get close to a far more deadly beast called sin—and survive?  Subconsciously perhaps, we tend to think of certain sins as “mostly harmless”—especially if we’ve played with them for years and never been seriously bitten…

Why don’t I see sin for what it is?  A wild beast that I cannot control that will destroy me and those I love?  Why am I willing to put up with “little sins”… because little by little… step by step I have been desensitized to sin.  Forgive me Lord for thinking my own sins are harmless while at the same time judging others for their sins.  Open my eyes to the sins that I am committing and give me the strength to turn from them.

“I’ve become comfortable with a certain level of sin in my life.”  He had simply done what most of us have done—he had become desensitized to the sinfulness of sin and had come to accept its presence in his life in “tolerable” doses.  I believe our perspective on sin will be changed as we take a serious look at its nature and its consequences. 

Lord, help me to see the nature and the consequences of the sins in my own life.  I know that you are in the business of sanctification… and that You can completely mold us into the image of Your Son Jesus… Lord, I have a long way to go, and I know that You are my only help… my hope in this lost world.  Do whatever you need to remove the sin from my life.  Help me to rely on You when things get tough… when I am facing the consequences from my sins… consequences that may hurt.  I would rather face the consequences now and have the sin removed then live in sin and be desensitized to the sin because Satan is making my life ‘easy’. 

What is sin?  If you grew up in the church as I did, you probably learned early on that the essence of sin is breaking God’s law.  “Sin is failure to conform to the moral law of God in act, attitude, or nature.”… Hebrew word for “sin”… means “to miss the mark.”  Other words used to describe sin indicate man’s failure to measure up to a divine standard or expectation.

I’ve been struck by the realization that sin is not merely an objective “missing of the mark” or “lack of conformity” to an impersonal standard.  Sin is also intensely personal and has profound relational implications.  What makes all sin so heinous and grievous is that it is against God.  Yes, sin harms others, and yes, there are consequences for those who sin.  But above all, sin is against God, for it violates His holy law and character. 

You and I will never experience appropriate grief and brokenness over our sin until we come to see that our sin is against God. 

It is important to know that sin is “missing the mark”… whether it be in our thoughts, attitude or actions.  It is not being God’s perfect standard for our life… but more importantly is that it is against God.  We are hurting God and our relationship with God when we sin.  We are choosing to turn our back on God.  Does He expect us to be perfect, no?  David was a man after God’s own heart… not because he was perfect and did not sin… but because when he did sin, he was willing to humble himself before God and ask for forgiveness.  When I sin, I need to have the same attitude as David… I need to realize that my sin is not just wrong because I have hurt others… or wrong because I am suffering consequences… but it is wrong because I have hurt God.  When I see my sin through God’s eyes then and only then will I truly grieve over my sins as I should… Lord, my heart will be softened when I have a proper view of my sin.  Open my eyes to how my sin affects You. 

The reason adultery is so devastating to a marriage is that it is a breach of a covenant; it is a violation of a relationship; it rips apart what God has joined together.  In Scripture, when God wants to communicate the nature and the seriousness of sin, He often chooses imagery related to marital unfaithfulness and sexual sin.. Throughout Scripture, God is seen as a faithful, devoted Husband who is intensely jealous for an exclusive relationship with His wife.  When His bride is unfaithful, God is pictured as a rejected lover who has been grievously wronged; He is provoked to righteous anger and grief when a rival lover enters the relationship. 

The next time you sin, picture your husband locked in a passionate embrace with a woman he met over the internet.  Try to feel the intensity of the shock, the rejection, the pain, the anger that would well up from the innermost part of your being upon discovering the truth.  Then realize that what you would experience would be just a glimpse of the way God feels about our sin. 

I don’t think I have ever thought of sin in that way… I have read about it being compared to “adultery” but to think about the pain of rejection that one would feel when they found out their spouse was cheating on them… or to walk in and see their spouse with another.  I can just imagine how hurt I would be over that… and yet, every time I sin… I hurt God in the same way.  I am turning my back on my loving God and saying that I would rather be with another… I would rather indulge in sin than be faithful to Him.  Often times, the one that is involved in an adulterous relationship walked away slowly… their love for their spouse slowly dimmed until they desired the other more than their spouse… it is not easy to walk away from adultery… just as it is not always easy to walk away from sin, but that doesn’t make the pain that God feels any less real.  I hurt him every time I choose sin over him and so often I am blind to what I am doing to Him.  Forgive me Lord.  Help me see sin for what it truly is…

Now, imagine your mate walking in the door and saying in a casual tone of voice, “By the way, honey, I’ve been carrying on a little affair with that gal who works down the hall from me.  Nothing serious, really—just a fling.  Worse yet, imagine how you would feel if your mate refused to break off the illicit relationship, but continued to sleep with his girlfriend once or twice a week, month after month, year after year, all the while insisting that he really loved you and wanted to keep living with you when he wasn’t with her.  How long would it take for you to say, “No! You can’t have her and me!  You’ve got to make a choice.”

How often have I done this exact same thing to God… maybe not out loud but with my actions and thoughts… “It’s just a little sin… especially compared to ____”  But the reality is that any sin I commit is a slap in the face of a loving, Holy God.  When I choose to engage in the sin, I choose to hurt him over and over again.  Lord, forgive me for holding onto my sins, even my little ones, and hurting You in the process.  I don’t want to live like this anymore.  I don’t want to put you on the backburner anymore.  I don’t want to live for myself and my own pleasures… I don’t want to live for things of this world.  I am choosing You..!

As heartbreaking and revolting as such scenarios are for those who have experienced them, they give us an inkling of what we are doing to our heavenly Husband when we persist in “sleeping” with our sin, while claiming to be committed to our relationship with Him.

I found myself with a deeply distraught friend who had recently learned that her husband had been unfaithful to her.  “I never imagined I could ever hurt so deeply or feel so rejected!”  As I held my friend in my arms, I had a whole new sense of what our sin and unfaithfulness does to God.  I hope I never forget that picture. 

Somehow, the evangelical world has managed to redefine sin; we have come to view it as normal, acceptable behavior—something perhaps to be tamed or controlled, but not to be eradicated and put to death. 

Lord, help me to not forget what sin truly is… a grievous offense to You.  A slap in your face.  Rejecting You and choosing something that has no value.  May I not allow sin to be normal, acceptable behavior in my life… may I realize that I cannot tame and control sin, but I need to put it to death and remove it completely from my life.  May I realize that it is powerful and that I need Jesus and His power to remove it and keep it away from me forever.  May I never forget how much I need Jesus…

Before you yield to temptation the next time, try reminding yourself of these consequences:

1)    Sin will disappoint you

Sin never pays what it promises.  Without a doubt, sin does yield pleasure, but—and here’s what we need to remember in the flush of temptation—those “joys” are “fleeting pleasures” (Hebrews 11:25).  We’ve all known what it is to sinfully indulge our flesh in the hopes of feeling better, finding relief, getting an emotional thrill or satisfying some inner longing.  But do you look back now ans say, “WOW! That was sure worth it!”  Doubtful.  If you’re honest, you’d probably have to say, “Whatever gain I derived from that choice was short-lived.  And it sure wasn’t worth the price I paid to get it.”  The enjoyment inevitably turns to emptiness, misery, and shame.

I don’t understand how we can fall for this over and over.  We know that sin will disappoint us.  That its pleasure is fleeting… yet we still choose to indulge in the sin thinking that it will last longer the next time.  Why does the little pleasure that we get from sin blind us from the emptiness, misery and shame that follows it?  Why are we so addicted to the sin… the pleasure that we get from the sin… that we don’t care about its consequences?

2)    Sin will deceive you

The more ground you concede to sin, the more you dull your capacity for truth.  As your conscience is violated, you gradually lose your moral compass—your ability to discern right from wrong.  When others try to point out those blind spots, rather than humbling yourself and admitting your fault, you defend yourself or insist you’ve been misjudged.  Sin will lead you step-by-step through incremental compromises, all the while convincing you that you can handle this, that you’re not so bad.

We are so easily deceived by sin… especially the sins in our own life.  Why is it that we can see the small sins in other people’s lives so blaringly but when it comes to our own sins… we are blind…?  Why do we fight to defend ourselves instead of humbling ourselves and seeking forgiveness for those sins… why do we allow pride to rule over us?  Lord, forgive me… forgive me for my heart that is so full of pride.  Forgive me for my blindness.  Forgive me for allowing sin to blind me to my own sins.  Forgive me for being quick to judge others.  Lord, open my eyes to the sins in my life.  Help me to have a heart for you.  Help me to have a heart for Your Word.  Help me to have a desire for holiness.  Help me to have a life that seeks You daily, hourly, minute-by-minute.  I want to walk closely with You.  I want prayer to be so natural that it is second nature.  I want sin to be so blaring that I can avoid it. 

3)    Sin will dominate you

Sin lures us with the illusion that it is the doorway to freedom.  What kind of freedom is it to be under the control of sinful cravings?  To come running every time the urge to indulge your flesh rings your bell?  We have become a compulsive, highly addicted society.  We are slaves—slaves to sex, lust, food, entertainment, games, recreation, work, toys, noise, activity, alcohol, drugs, busyness, therapy, and on and on.  We have become dominated by the very “pleasures” we thought would liberate us.

Lord, I do not want to be dominated by my sins any longer.  I don’t want them to have power over me.  I don’t want to come running when they call me… or even whisper to me.  I want to be constantly aware of what You are asking of me and keep my focus on You.  Help me to find freedom from the slavery of sin… May I not be a slave to food, entertainment, games, recreation, work, toys, noise, activity, busyness, social media… etc.  Set me free…!

4)    Sin will destroy you

Most of us have become so familiar with sin that we no longer see it as a deadly monster.  It is not just the “serious sins” your neighbor or your co-worker commits that are deadly; our “subtle sins” can be just as destructive.  You may never get in bed with someone else’s mate; but your heart for God may be just as easily destroyed by allowing the fires of jealousy, anger, self-pity, worry, or gluttony to go unchecked in your life.

Are you content to maintain a “certain level of sin” in your life, as long as you can tame and manage it?  Mark it down: There is no such thing as a small sin.  Every unconfessed sin is a seed that will produce a multiplied harvest. 

The moral or spiritual landslides that take us by surprise most often occur because we have paid little or no attention to the cracks and fissures in our walk with God and our moral conduct.  Seemingly small, “harmless” compromises snowball and set the state for tragic consequences. 

I lived in this reality for a few years… letting the small “subtle sins” destroy me… destroy my peace, destroy relationships, destroy my walk with God.  I was content living with the sin… trying to manage it and keep it under control.  I have confessed the sins I know about, but I am sure there are some that I am still unaware of that I still need to confess and remove from my life… but at least I am back on the right path… I am feeling my joy in the Lord come back (when I spend time with Him and focus on my relationship with God instead of letting sin take over again that is…)

He was miserable—sin had not brought him the happiness it promised.  His thinking was profoundly twisted and deceived; he was hopelessly trapped (apart from the grace of God, which he was unwilling to appropriate at that point), and he was in the process of self-destructing.  Yet he was so attached to his sin that he was unwilling to live with its consequences rather than reject the sin. 

It’s just not worth it!  It’s now worth it to cling to one single sin.  Oh, Lord, please don’t let me ever bring reproach to Your name by failing to take sin seriously.

Lord, help me never be in a place that I am so attached to a sin that I would rather live with the consequences than reject the sin… I know that I am no better than this man… who was trapped in His sins… and that it is only through YOU that I can be protected from the devil’s traps.  If I am starting to cling to something more than you… take it away Lord… I beg of you! I want You to have top priority in my life… even if it is going to hurt me temporarily to lose what I am trying to cling to. 

Most people reading a book like this are not in the midst of an affair… But “good” people who have never committed adultery may have a harder time recognizing their own sinfulness.  One of my greatest personal struggles has been to see myself as a sinner and to see my sin as truly detestable. 

I can attest that when we cease to sense the seriousness of our sin, we also cease to be moved by the wonder of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for sin.  Our hearts get dry and crusty—we know that, we’ve heart that, ho-hum, same-old, so what?  We’d never say those words, of course- but truth be told, I know all too well what it’s like to hear one more sermon about God’s amazing grace, sing more more song about the wondrous Cross, go through one more Communion service, sit though one more Passion play—and be strangely unstirred by the whole thing. 

Oh, how this has been true in my life so many times.  Lord, forgive me for being blind to my own sins and so judgmental of others.  I have experienced the joy of walking closely with you and I miss it when I am living in the ho-hum state… Thank you for waking me up early to spend extra time with you today in prayer and in your Word… give me energy to get through the day and motivation to do this more often… I need to be close to You..!

I’m not suggesting God intends for His children to live under the weight of sin that has been confessed, or that we should seek gut-wrenching, emotional experiences.  But I am convinced that periodically every believer needs to be given a fresh glimpse of the corruption of indwelling sin, apart from which the mercy, the grace, and the Cross of Christ cease to be precious in our eyes. 

I think that we always need to be closer to God… it should be the desire of our heart.  Thankfully, He doesn’t want us to live in guilt… but wants us to confess our sins and to be free from them… free to walk with Him… I feel like this past year I have been slowly doing that… two steps forward, one step backward but I am still going in the right direction.  I am finally getting myself out from underneath the weight of bitterness… (which is how Satan had me trapped in sin)… I am starting to walk in freedom.  Am I perfect?  No… Do I still mess up?  Yes… in fact, just yesterday I had to humble myself and apologize to a co-worker for snapping at them… but God is at work in me and I am precious in His sight…!

Do you need to return to God?  Have you become comfortable with a “certain level of sin” in your life?  Is God opening your eyes to see the seriousness of your sin before Him?  Perhaps you feel you just can’t face what you’ve done.  God’s response to His people infuses us with hope.  It reveals Him to be a God of amazing, infinite mercy and forgiveness—a redeemer and Restorer who is willing and able to make all things new for those who truly repent.

I believe I have returned to God… does that mean I am perfect and don’t have areas of sin that still need to be removed? “No!!!”  But… I am walking closer with Him now than I have in years… He is slowly tearing down the walls in my heart that I had built up.  I have been crying out to Him more consistently and my quiet times has been less of just a “habit” and more of a time of fellowship with my God.