Easter Memories from years past…

Easter is one of those holidays that we never cease to celebrate every year.  Looking at the past 6 years… each year has been completely different.  Reflecting on those years I am reminded of some of my most joyful memories… and some of my hardest memories.  It is a Holiday that mourns the death of Jesus but also rejoices in His resurrection.  All of human emotion can be expressed on this day… and here is a glimpse of my Easter past… from the last 6 years.

Easter 2011 – Shane joining the family... 

This was the year that I was engaged to be married to Matthew.  We were planning for our upcoming wedding… loving life.  I was getting to know Shane better and one of my greatest joys in life came after the Easter service at church.  I was over at their house visiting and he came out of his bedroom and asked if he could accept Jesus into his heart.  Just like any normal kid he had “accepted” Christ various times throughout the years.  I can still remember this particular night where I sat in his bedroom with him and answered various questions he had about the Bible for over an hour.  I love teaching people about the Bible but even more special was the opportunity to bond with Shane in this way.  I have no doubt that God began a work in Shane’s life… he had such curiosity in His word… this is the day I go back to and plead with God to be faithful to His promise to complete the good work.  

Easter 2012 – Shane with just the girls... 

Easter fell on Spring break for Jimmy and Karen this year so they were out of town for the family celebration… but it also fell on my birthday.  Even though it was a small gathering I had a great time celebrating with them… not just my physical birth but my salvation.  It is because of the work that Jesus did on the cross… and his resurrection that we even have hope in going to heaven one day.  I needed to be reminded of this on a regular basis… not just on Easter day. 

Easter 2013 – James was attached to Shane... 

This Easter was one of mixed emotions… it was shortly after Matthew’s amputation so we were grateful for the healing God was doing in his life… most of my family was able to come for Easter day but it was more of a relaxing day.  James loved having Shane around and looked up to him as the older cousin.  Matthew and I didn’t realize that it was the beginning of the struggles we would deal with at home… before this all of our fighting had been against outsiders… people who didn’t live in our house… especially L&I.  We later learned that it is common for adolescents to rebel after a parent loses a limb… that doesn’t make it any easier but it gives me more understanding of what unfolded in our life in the following years.  

Easter 2014 – Lives forever changed...  

This Easter my heart was drawn towards praying for those who do not know Christ or who are living in rebellion to the truth.  I was reminded that the cross was foolishness to the lost… I couldn’t comprehend why they don’t want the gift of grace offered on the cross but that is because I know the beauty and power that is found only in Christ.  I am living in His peace, joy and love on a daily basis.  My prayer was that God would open the eyes that are darkened to His truth… and touch the hearts of those who are trying to do it on their own… especially my friends and family members who are trying to do it on their own and not looking for the saving grace that is found in Christ alone. 

We took pictures of the individual families as well as all of the grandchildren together (except Jeremy and Maria’s kids since they were not in town).  I didn’t realize that after this Easter life would dramatically change for my family.  It was the last family holiday that we had with Shane… It was also the last Easter that Dan was a part of the family.  I would look at these pictures afterwards and mourn the loss.  To this day I still pray for them… I went through months of searching my own heart… trying to figure out what I should have done differently… seeking to forgive myself and others.  I finally came to a place where I could no longer look at the past.  I cannot live there any longer. 

I know that the mourning I did was nothing compared to what the disciples endured at the loss of Jesus but it was mourning nonetheless.  When Shane left us the week after Easter I felt the loss as much as if it had been a death… what we lived through in that time period was hell.  I don’t wish that experience upon anyone… but the nice thing about the cross is that we don’t have to live there forever.  Jesus has set us free… 

Easter 2015 – Just Matthew and Me... 

Matthew and decided to change things up for Easter this year… I still wasn’t ready to celebrate at my parents since it was only a year ago that we had spent our last Easter celebration with Shane… there were still so many painful feelings that I was dealing with.

Instead… we went to one of my places of refuge… my Aunt’s in Spokane to see my relatives.  I spent the morning on the porch with my Bible and then my cousins came over for a family dinner at my Aunt & Uncle’s house.  We were able to get away from it all and still enjoy celebrating with my extended family.  Of course our thoughts often went to Shane… wondering what he was doing and how he was.    

Easter 2016 – A smaller celebration... 

This Easter was kind of like a rebuilding for me… kind of like Isaiah 61 in which the prisoners were set free and they rebuilt the ancient ruins.  God has lifted me out of a place of mourning… which doesn’t mean I don’t miss Shane anymore… but I can now experience God’s joy.  I once again have hope in the future.  My heart hurts knowing he doesn't want to see us... but I have joy knowing that even from a distance I can continue to pray for him... and hopefully one day have reconciliation with him.

This Easter I committed myself to praying the same for Shane as I did 5 years ago.  “Lord, complete the good work that you started in Shane. Help him to grow in love, in knowledge, in insight. Help him to see and understand the truth. Help him to grow in godliness. Place people in his life who will spend hours answering his questions about the Bible... give him the desire to know what the Bible has to say and to apply it in his own life. Lord, I pray you would heal any hurts in his life... because healing only comes through you. Build him up in your truth... help him mature into a man of God who seeks to serve you.”

This year only Jimmy and Karen and the family came over for Easter… we did a quick Easter Egg Hunt before the expected rain showed up… then we ate brunch for lunch… I had a good time visiting with everyone and just relaxing.  

Matthew said he was smiling... 

Josiah found an egg... 

James only does it for the money :) 

Jonathan excited about his eggs... 

Aliya found all her eggs... 

Abby enjoying the food...