Time to refocus…

I could easily write about all the trials that Matthew and I are facing… the continuous fight against L&I… the pain we endure over missing Shane… health problems… stresses of life… oh so many trials. But I don’t want to focus on the hard time… I want to focus on the blessings that God has given us. 

I spent most of my mid-winter break working on homework for my college class.  It was so nice to complete all my homework and know that I would have a month off without having to write papers.  I finally have my weekends back and so I took full advantage of that and spent time in the word all morning.  It was a much-needed time to refocus on what is truly important in life. 

As many of you know, Matthew bought me a new car back in October.  To me it is like having a new beginning.  I had my Honda for about 17 years and it was brought about many adventures in life.  I bought if rom my parents shortly after graduating from community college and I travelled many miles… in my Honda and by plane.  Even when I was in Argentina I knew that my Honda was back at my parents waiting for me.  I practically lived in my car when I was a nanny for my sister.   It drove me down to Multnomah faithfully every week for over two years… it took me on my honeymoon to the beach after my wedding.  We drove it back and forth to church when Matthew and I lived in Port Orchard.  I loved my Honda… and all the memories it brought into my life.  But just like all good things in the past… there comes a time when it has to remain in the past.  If we live in the past than we will never experience the things that God has in store for us today and in the future.  So, this week, I said goodbye to my Honda.  After getting the new car Matthew and I held onto the Honda… trying to decide what to do with it but I finally came to a point that I told him we needed to let it go.  We knew that we were not going to be able to make much money from it so we decided to donate it.  Matthew called around and God led him to the perfect organization…. “Find the children” (http://www.findthechildren.com/)  I spent some time this morning reading about the organization and love that we were able to donate my car to such an amazing cause.  

Saying goodbye to the past... 

As I reflected on my Honda… I reflected on my life the last 17 years or so.  I don’t want to live in the past… I don’t want to think about the things I sacrificed for God in the past… I don’t want to live in my obedience to the past… I want to live in the present.  I want to focus on what God is asking me to sacrifice today… I want to life in obedience today.  I want to think about the many adventures God has in store for me in the future… the adventures that I will enjoy in this new stage of life… with my new car.  I know that God has amazing plans for me.  My Mazda is like a fresh start as God leads me down a new path… I got it at the perfect time of transition… a time in which God is leading into a new career as a teacher… a time in which my relationship with Shane will be different (when it is restored) as he is now an adult… a time in which God will continue to be faithful as He was in the past.  

Bring on the new adventures... 

This morning I had the opportunity to start (again) a study called “Surrender: The Heart God Controls).  There are so many amazing quotes I could share with you… but I am choosing just one that impacted me this morning: “You don’t want to surrender to God’s control?  You won’t bow to His will in relation to your marriage, your morals, your attitudes, your tongue, your eating habits, our spending habits, or the way you spend your time?  Then count on it—the very points on which you refuse to surrender will become ‘enemies’ that rule over you—lust, greed, possessions, food, sloth, immorality, anger, etc.”

It is hard to give up control… I like being in control of things… I like being able to decide how to run my life… but unless I give up control to God, I will be controlled by the very things that I think that I am in control of.  We are foolish to think that we really have control over our own lives… and in reality… why would I try to control things when I have a loving God, who Knows all things and loves me, who is willing to guide my steps.  I know that giving up complete control is not going to be easy but as I go through this study… I pray that I can take one step of obedience after another.  May this new adventure be one guided by God… as the ones in my past have been.  

Refocusing on God...